Certain you’re not creative?
Give me 15 minutes and we will tap into your natural creativity.
Ever find yourself in the infinite limbo of procrastination? It goes something like this…
Does the housework *really* need to be done, or are the breakfast dishes from this morning are on the side? (hint: they can wait!)
Did you find anything on Pinterest that you want to do? (or did you just overwhelm yourself with comparisonitis?)
Here’s the thing – creativity isn’t always easy. Sometimes it can feel more like a chore. Like any chore, we start to make excuses why we can’t do them. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s a case of priorities – like picking the kids up from school. Other times, it’s just our way of procrastinating – pretending those dishes need to be done NOW rather than 20 minutes of crochet. They really don’t – no-one is going to die if they are still there tonight when you wash up after dinner. Promise.
A very good friend of mine will spend HOURS ‘clearing’ the yard. Seriously, that yard is utterly spotless, it doesn’t need anything, besides a spot of weeding and a monthly sweep. Yet it is her way of avoiding creativity – she freely admits this – whether she cant be arsed with the clearing up after or doesn’t have a clue what she wants to paint. It’s her way of procrastinating.
We spend our time convincing ourselves that creative time is a ‘nice to have’ – a luxury – like a shampoo that makes you orgasm…
IT’S A FUCKING MYTH!
Washing your hair, like creativity is an ESSENTIAL aspect of our well being, not a luxury
You may well be reading this because you can relate to my concept of the infinite loop of procrastination. Knowing what your procrastination tactics are helps you get a handle on things. Bullet journals and habit tracking are HUGE right now simply tracking your activity can help you find out what activities you are using to procrastinate. The last time I did one, I found around 14 hours a week!!! (if you sign up to my mailing list below, you will get access to 4 exclusive trackers and a tonne of other useful things! HINT HINT!)
What about when you sit down to create… and nothing comes! This can be the most frustrating thing on the PLANET, more so than waiting for the next season of Orange is the New Black or Game of Thrones. You want to be productive sooo much, but it just ain’t coming (or it all looks like mud!) Don’t despair, that’s how you learn more about products, style, colour mixing and more.
Take a breath. Some creativity is better than none. Glue down some paper, choose your next knit. You don’t have to force it and not every session will produce a Monet-style masterpiece.
Your creative instinct is there, but like a blocked artery (classy analogy, I know) you need to give it space to flow. Don’t try and force it, look for other creative avenues that feel productive to you. Colouring books and cross stitch are my favourites, they require very little space or supplies and have a pre-defined structure so I don’t have to think. It’s like introducing a stent to that artery, putting some additional support in place to allow your inspiration to flow freely once more.
Do you feel like creativity and inspiration pass you by? Look at gorgeous projects on Pinterest and wish you could be part of the creative tribe? Or just wish you were creative?
Feel unworthy to create, and you’re no good at it, so why bother..
I know this feeling only too well, for years I kept rejecting my creative gifts, convinced I couldn’t draw, critisising my work. It was never good enough. Eventually, I realised these limitations had spread to my life.
We are all aware that creativity has MASSIVE health benefits, yet we still reject it as a luxury and something that requires perfection. It sits on a pedestal. I wanted to be there so much! But found a way to reconnect and release the limitations I had created without climbing the pedestal.
The Creative Activation playbook gives you the same tools I used re-write my creative journey. Working with inspiration rather than rejecting it as ‘imperfect’ to allow creativity to flow freely! I now enjoy the benefits of creativity without the pressure of perfection.
No more overwhelm, no more rejection. Activate your creativity and nurture your inner artist!
You’ll get access to the GORGEOUS Creative Activation Playbook and a library of awesome creativity tools and self-care – alongside my weekly roundup.
Pop your details in below and activate your creativity today.
No one else can do the work for you. So don’t wait for a magic pill that doesn’t, take control of your creativity and re-write your story.
“Just get over it!”
“It’s time you moved on”
These are two of the most alienating phrases you can hear during bereavement. It makes you question yourself, your sanity and more.
Sadly, I have heard them all too often. It doesn’t matter if you are grieving a family member, friend or a pet – there are no timescales on grief.
There is no one way, no right way to grieve. Whatever you are experiencing, it’s 100% normal. I promise you. We all experience different emotions in different quantities. We all move at different paces. We all need different support.
You may need counselling, you may not.
You may need medication, you may not.
It may take a few days to assimilate your grief and move forward. It may take over a year. There are no timescales, no ‘right’ way to grieve. It is 100% unique to you and each time it will be different.
Whatever you experience, it’s normal.
Understanding your grief isn’t straight-forward, that’s okay. Take it day by day, you’re doing a great job. Whatever you need, you’re not broken, you don’t need fixing, your grief, your needs.
So, if you are asking yourself “is your grief normal?” Yes, It is.
If you need a little extra help dealing with the emotional overwhelm, whether you are grieving or not, take a look at the Regeneration Sanctuary. It’s a playbook that will help you create a safe space to work with those emotions and get you back on track. Click the link or sign up below this post for free access.
Are you feeling unfulfilled? Overwhemed by intense emotions? Do you keep pushing them away only to find they come straight back, battering at the doors?
Feel like a wreck, empty and lost.
I know this feeling only too well, for years I kept suppressing and rejecting those emotions. Then I broke down and knew I had to find another way.
We are all aware that it’s unhealthy to suppress emotions, yet we still do it. I found another way and I want to share it with you.
The Regeneration Sanctuary playbook gives you the same tools I used to create a healthy emotional connection with myself. Working with my emotions rather than suppressing them to feel fulfilled, happy and free!
No more emotional overwhelm, no more rejection. Create your sanctuary and get your life-force back!
You’ll get access to the Regeneration Sanctuary Playbook and a library of awesome self-care and creativity alongside my weekly roundup.
Pop your details in below and take control today.
No one else can do the work for you. So don’t wait for a magic pill that doesn’t, take control of your future and cultivate a healthy emotional connection today.
You may have noticed that I am a HUGE fan of Elizabeth Gilbert – especially her book Big Magic. So let us start with a quote.
It’s all about limiting beliefs and fear. This isn’t some hippy-woo-woo shit that fell out of the spliff, it’s a concept and emotion we deal with everyday. Whether it’s standing up to some bully in the playground (or not) or going for and KNOWING you deserve that promotion. How would you feel about these? How have you felt? Scared? Nervous? Unworthy?
After that interview, did the doubt creep in? “I should have…”, “Don’t think I got it…”, “Not good enough…”?
Or that encounter with the playground bully “Not strong enough…”, the fear and emotions that we associated with them even looking in our direction.
We’re taught from an early age that our faults and weaknesses mean we’re not good enough.
How often have you created something sat back and seen it’s flaws – the bits that didn’t turn out as expected. What about when you did your make-up this morning? Like me when I try to do eyeliner – one will be PERFECT! The second will never be as good.
At this point, you can put down your brushes and run away sobbing OR you can recognise it and DEAL WITH THAT SUCKA!
You don’t need to be a genius, produce 100% every fucking time. Be aware of your assumptions and limiting beliefs. Unfounded assumptions prevent you from thinking creatively.
My fangirling isn’t limited to Elizabeth Gilbert. I’m also a HUGE fan of TED talks. They are an encyclopedia of thought processes and sledgehammers for limiting beliefs.
These specific TED(ex) talks are concepts about creativity rather than a ‘how to guide’. Concepts help us re-allign our thoughts and beliefs.
No one expects you to produce perfection every time except you. And you have the ability to give yourself permission to let go. Stop looking for the imperfections, look for the learning. It looks like mud? Why? Did you work on wet layers? Mix two contrasting shades of colour? So what can you change next time? Dry your layers first? Don’t mix those two colours together? You can even keep a notebook if you wish to!
Reframe your beliefs, even just a little, give yourself permission to be imperfect and the opportunity to learn from the experiences.
“Do you feel better?” She asked me…
“No I fucking don’t – it’s not a broken leg – it won’t magically heal over time. He’s gone – not coming back, there’s no replacement or repairing.”
This was a genuine conversation I had with a friend following my father’s death. While I snapped, possibly not the best, but an understandable reaction, I suddenly understood how utterly stupid well-meaning statements really are. There is no ‘cure’ for grief. It’s not an illness, I don’t need healing. I need time and support, not well-meaning bullshit.
Here’s the thing; we don’t talk about grief, we listen to society; that grief is personal and should be hidden behind close doors and asking ‘feeling better’ or ‘it’s time to move on now’ are patronising.
When our friends don’t know how to support us, what then? Having been there (on more occasions than I care to recall) here’s my top 3 support tools to help you;
When our friends don’t know how to support us, what then? Having been there (on more occasions than I care to recall) here’s my top 3 support tools to help you;
Yeah, I know, you don’t need counselling and you don’t want to people. I get it, I *really* do. Before you close the browser and start swearing, group therapy is different. In bereavement group therapy, you are all in the same boat. There are facilitators rather than 1:1 counselors, they get the ball rolling and keep the group on target. It is totally different to any 1:1 session and you are with people at similar stages. It is so much more engaging and you develop empathy with those in your group. If 1:1 sessions have you running for the hills, look for group sessions.
Get off the ‘I’m not artistic’ wagon. This isn’t about creating a VanGogh. It’s about pouring out your emotions. That overwhelm that you try to suppress, the frustration that boils over. Yep, this will help you. It may be a boatload of scribble in black sharpie. A cut up magazine and a glue stick. It doesn’t matter. Head over to my Pinterest board for some great resources.
I love this place – I wish it had been available 10 years ago. I could wax lyrical about Megan Devine. She really says it best
“Finding someone who sounds like you, who thinks and feels like you, is immensely powerful. With a combination of validation and practical tools, I help you live the life that’s asked of you – with as much peace, grace, and integrity as you can.”
Megan knows first hand how sudden and horrific grief can be and her work speaks to my heart (but with less expletives than me!)
There is no one ‘right’ way to grieve, no set timescales. There is no need to put on a brave face or pressure yourself to ‘be better’ or ‘with it’. Find support and methods that work for you and embrace them.
Here’s a bonus for you;
This is usually the last thing we’re interested in. I don’t mean self care as in a spa day with a massage, I mean the basic stuff, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, washing your hair. It sounds too good to be true, but trust me, this makes a HUGE difference to your mental health each day.
Need some support? If you’ve suffered a loss or bereavement it can be difficult to know what you need or how to reach out. I’ve created the Crisis Conquer Toolkit especially for you. It’s designed to support the initial stages of grief, the overwhelm and the shock. To help you keep your head when the world is crumbling around you. Totally free, no sign up or email needed. Grab it now.
“Where do you get your inspiration?!?”
If I had a penny for every time I was asked this, I would be a billionaire – no joke.
You don’t ‘get’ inspiration, Elizabeth Gilbert puts it in the best way EVER!
We are bombarded by ideas every day (consider the amount of adverts we see each day – all trying to implant ideas into our mind). How do we feed our inspiration, gather and tap into it?
Let’s start with the big question; what is inspiration?
Nothing complex – it’s an idea that leads to mental stimulation. Simples.
There is no mention of perfection, the one GENIUS idea that will allow you to create a Van Gogh. You don’t need to choose just one idea. Inspiration is simply a curated collection of ideas and connecting those ideas leads to inspiration. (FYI – Pinterest is great for this!)
So how do we use these ideas for creative success? 3 simple steps that will
You need to learn what products do, what brush strokes give a specific effect.
Everything you look at, everything you see. Take photos, my camera roll is a random collection of stuff from walking about alongside everyday life.
Love the colour of those holly berries? Take a photo! See that sheep? How awesome would it be in felt? Jeans don’t fit? Great, I can make a bag (or canvas) and I’ve a zip… that can go on a large embroidery!
It really is that simple. And it gets better – the well of inspiration is not only infinite, the more you use it, the more you have!
Shock. Panic. Fear.
What the fuck just happened?
There’s a hole… They are gone. That sense of overwhelming loss.
I’ve suffered more bereavements than I care to admit (I’m 31 at the time of writing, in the last 10 years, I’ve lost 7 close family members). I know first hand how painful loss can be, I’ve experienced so many emotions, no 2 bereavements have been the same. I have reacted differently each time. Over the years, I have become a little blasé about death, reflected on my experiences and learnt a huge amount. I’ve observed family and friends reactions, experienced them first hand in some cases, suffered for it.
Here it is…
Professional or otherwise, friends, charity. Build a support network and USE IT! Whether you are dealing with that mountain of paperwork, your own emotions or just cooking a meal. This is essential. My ability to make and eat regular meals disappeared – the weight loss wasn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Oh, and housework too… It got pretty nasty before I accepted I needed help to A – actually clean and B – I needed to talk it out to get my mental state balanced. Adulting is hard!
When was the last time you took a shower? Can’t be bothered? Don’t see the point? I’m right there with you hun, but basic self maintenance is essential. Wash your hair, brush your teeth. Eat some healthy food. Sounds too simple? There is no magic pill -sorry – basic self care helps, it’s lots of little things that create a change. From someone who learnt the hard way, these small things count for A LOT!
Emotions all over the place, crying, laughing, anger. It’s a rollercoaster – it’s normal. This is why that support network is essential. It will help you come to terms and work through those emotions. Know that you are not broken, it’s part of grief.
The most important question EVER! Do you need company? Do you need silence? Do you need food? What do you need. Unfortunately, we can’t bring your loved one back. But when someone asks if there is anything they can do to help – think about this question. Shopping for groceries? Cooking a meal? This question gives you the ability to ask for the right support at the right time.
How does that sound? There’s more if you want it! The Crisis Conquer Toolkit delves deep into helping you identify the support you need and accessing it. It’s designed to support the initial stages of grief, the overwhelm and the shock. To help you keep your head when the world is crumbling around you. Totally free, no sign up or email needed. Grab it now.
Not there right now, that’s great! Even so, get the toolkit – it’s there for you when you need it.
You’re no creative genius. In fact, you are probably thinking “I’ve not a creative bone in my body!!!”
Creativity is subjective – I could sit and give you a lecture, get my soapbox out and rant until I run out of coffee. I’m not going to.
Short version – Find the creative outlet that works for you. Can’t draw? Try crochet! No good with colour mixing? Get onto Design Seeds (or You-Tube, or Pinterest – it’s not like you aren’t there already – be honest!)
Still struggling? Read on, I’ve got your back.
The world’s #1 visual search engine. Stop trying to figure out what to google – go browse Pinterest, pin what you like and check out how it was done. You not only have an immediate inspiration encyclopedia but a butt-load of FREE tutorials!
Forgive me my shameless self promo. I designed this quiz to give you a place to get going. It takes a few moments and gives you EPIC resources to get started. If you don’t know where to start you need to give this puppy a whirl!
It’s all ready done for you, all those lines just need colour and let’s face it, every newsagents in the country carries ‘adult’ colouring books (*psst* I’ll let you in on a secret – I have ALWAYS had a kid’s crayola colouring book for days when I can’t be arsed, too stressed etc NEVER too old). It’s a great way to tap into creativity while being a ‘clean’ craft. Also, we seem to be less precious and perfectionist, never a bad thing!
Pop down to the local collage/library/community centre, KEEP AN OPEN MIND! Every term there are introductory/taster classes, one might take your fancy. I’ve done clay, watercolour, embroidery, computer design and card making this way and they influence my work in many ways.
Invite a group round, bring a ‘craft’ each. Share some skills, have a brew and a catch up – see what inspires other people!
I’ve been on this journey for over 30 years, and I keep trying new things, new ideas. As products become more accessible to us mere mortals, it becomes easier to explore more. That said, I know EXACTLY what sets my soul alight; it’s TEXTURE, fabric, paint etc. It’s all about the texture! I cannot describe the joy I get building up materials and using objects to create texture.
KEEP TRYING NEW THINGS! Some will just piss you off, that’s okay (like me and crochet!) Move onto something else. You’ll find out what you enjoy, what you hate and the thing that SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE!
Check out my Creative Viagra Quiz. There’s no sign-up and it’s packed with resources!